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Would you'all PLEASE help me up?
Now, here's one Silly Barb can understand folks!
Work VS. Prison
IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
IN PRISON...you get three meals a day (free).
IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
IN PRISON...a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.
IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.
IN PRISON...you spend most of your life looking through the bars from the
Only 14% of the homes in the U.S. had a bath tub.
Only 8% of U.S. homes had a telephone. (A 3-minute call from Denver
There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S. and only 144 miles of paved
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa and Tennessee were each more heavily
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
The average wage in the U.S. was 22-cents an hour.
The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2,000 per year, a dentist
More than 95% of all births in the U.S. took place at home.
Ninety percent of all U.S. physicians had no college education. instead
Sugar cost 4-cents a pound. Eggs were 14-cents a dozen. Coffee cost
Most women only washed their hair once a month and used Borax or egg
The four leading causes of death in the U.S. were [in order of
1. Pneumonia/influenza.
The American flag had 45-stars ... Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico,
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30.
Crossword puzzles, canned beer and iced tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
One in ten U.S. adults could not read or write.
Only 6% of Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin and morphine were all readily available over the
Eighteen percent of all households in the U.S. had at least one
There were about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.
I Love it! - I Love It! - I Love It! More Amazing Facts every one should know
1. It is impossible to
lick your elbow.
3. A shrimp's heart is in their head.
4. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months,
5. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period
6. It is physically impossible for pigs to look
7. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit
8. More than 50% of the people in the world have
9. Rats and horses can't vomit.
10. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
11. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
12. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the
13. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
14. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different
15. over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
No doubt in time, the American people will prevail over the terrorist's of the world. People, God really is on our side on this one!
Now that the President has called on us to pray.
Now that the Congress has called on us to pray. Now that our Governor has
called on us to pray. Now that the City Mayor has called on us to pray. Now that the
"LIBERAL MEDIA" and most other branches of our American society have called on us
to pray. And Now that our churches are assembling in special prayer.... "Honorable" Justices of the Supreme Court, I have only one question.
Would it be okay to pray in our schools once again??? Nuff Said!!!
So this has to be where my weight problem started!
And God
populated the earth with broccoli and
____________________________________________________________________________
SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one,
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one,
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows and drink Vodka.
TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in Afghanistan,
POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are
FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow.
NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. You have
____________________________________________________________________________
Awe, come on now people! My Silly Barb site will NOT cause any harm to your
Silly Barb Thanks her visitor's for coming and invites
them back ASAP.
Back
1 2 3 4 5
6
7
Seven Photo Albums are complete now with more on the way in the future!
we mean to the world and what we
get in return.
CNN Headline News did a short news
listing regarding Ford and GM`s
contributions to the relief and
recovery efforts in New York and
Washington. The findings are as
follows.....
1. Ford- $1 million to American Red Cross matching
employee
contributions of the same number plus 10 Excursions to NY
Fire
Dept. The company also offered ER response team services and
office
space to displaced government employees.
2. GM-
$1 million to American Red Cross matching employee
contributions of
the same number and a fleet of vans, SUV`s, and
trucks.
3.
Daimler Chrysler- $10 million to support of the children and
victims
of the Sept. 11 attack.
4. Harley Davidson motorcycles- $1 million
and 30 new
motorcycles to the New York Police Dept.
5.
Volkswagen- Employees and management created a Sept. 11
Foundation,
funded initial with $2 million, for the assistance of the
children and
victims of the WTC.
6. Hyundai- $300,000 to the American Red
Cross.
7. Audi- Nothing.
8. BMW-
Nothing.
9. Daewoo- Nothing.
10. Fiat-
Nothing.
11. Honda- Nothing despite boasting of second best sales
month
ever in August 2001
12. Isuzu-
Nothing.
13. Mitsubishi- Nothing.
14. Nissan-
Nothing.
15. Porsche- Nothing. Press release with condolences via
the
Porsche website.
16. Subaru- Nothing.
17. Suzuki- Nothing.
18. Toyota- Nothing despite claims of high
sales in July and
August 2001. Condolences posted on the
website
I can only express hope that this infuriates and sickens
each of
you like it did me. Whenever the time may be for you to
purchase
or lease a new vehicle, keep this information in
mind.
I ask that you choose a product made by an American-owned
and
based company. Apart from Hyundai and Volkswagen, the foreign
car
companies contributed nothing at all to the citizens of the
United
States.
Its OK for these companies to take money out of this
country, but not
acceptable to return some in a time of
crisis.
AT WORK....you spend most of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
AT WORK.....you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it
yourself.
AT WORK.....you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.
AT WORK.....you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the
doors yourself.
AT WORK.....you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
AT WORK.....you have to share.
AT WORK.....you can not even speak to your family and friends.
AT WORK.....you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they
deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.
inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK.....you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
+ Interesting Facts from 1902 Life a mere 100 years ago +
The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47-years.
to New York City cost $11.00!)
roads.
populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents,
California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.
$2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year,
and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the
press and by the government as "substandard."
15-cents a pound.
yolks for shampoo.
frequency]:
2. Tuberculosis.
3. Diarrhea.
4. Heart disease/stroke.
Hawaii and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.
counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin
clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the
stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, the perfect guardian of health."
full-time servant or domestic.
two rats could have over million descendants.
of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in
the sand (or attempted to do so - apart from Bones ).
up into the sky.
never made or received a telephone call.
bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
PLEASE read the message under the Eagle at least once.
Maybe we will see a miracle....
Maybe they will let God back into our schools...!!??!!,
cauliflower and spinach, green and
yellow vegetables
of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long
and
healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And
McDonald's
brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And
Satan said
to Man, "You want fries with that?" And
man said, "Super size them." And Man
gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman
might
keep her figure that man found so fair.
And Satan froze the yogurt, and
he brought forth
chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy
to
put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy
fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon
bits,
and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream
for dessert. And woman gained
pounds.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy
vegetables and
olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried
steak so big
it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds,
and his bad
cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes,
and Man
resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth
cable TV with remote control
so Man would not have to toil to change
channels
between ESPN and EPSN2. And Man gained pounds.
And God said,
"You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a
vegetable
naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan
peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and
deep-fat fried
them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man
clutched
his remote control and ate the potato chips
swaddled in cholesterol. And
Satan saw and said,
"It is good." And Man went into cardiac
arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple
bypass
surgery.....
And Satan created HMOs..
You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office
who put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money
to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money,
buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how
to manage his cow.
you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It's expensive and sour.
buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign
country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the
milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the
2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when
one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating
you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times
the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at
the top of their class at cow school.
them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk,
and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13
weeks of vacation per year.
where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch. Life is good.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more
vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count
them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and
open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the
last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows
you really have. Who cares as long as the Vodka doesn't run out.
which is two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
creature's private parts. At night when no one is looking, you have
sex with both of them. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew
them up while they were in the hospital.
regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like
the brown one best vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some
people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking one.
to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat
cow from Arkansas named Bill.
computer by clicking on any Silly Links that SOUND as though they MAY be harmful.
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